From the very first day Raj saw her, he fell in love with her. Her deep eyes, beautiful face, and flowing hair which gave the impression of a shadowy waterfall, captured his heart and imagination. Her name was Kusum...
Raj had got admitted in BIT a month ago. Ragging period was on and as a fresher he had to frequently undergo the physical and mental trauma brought about ragging. Running with hands raised, jumping like a frog and wishing the seniors with backs bent at ninety degrees was the order of the day. Raj got to class five minutes early each day, so that he could sit next to Kusum and Friday was festive for him--Chemistry Practical with Kusum in the same group. He had never talked to her, never looked into her eyes though she was mild as a dove. Shy as he was. He kept loving her from deep within his heart without exposing it through words or deeds.
It was a similar festive Friday. Raj had got up late in the morning. All his friends had left for the class. It was already 8 O`clock, the time for Chemistry Practicals. He would miss some marks due to absence but more importantly he would miss the much awaited company of Kusum. This appeared painful to him. He thought hard and decided to use the TIGER ROAD. Love had made him blind for in love heart commands and mind follows. He walked on the dreaded road for some distance, trying hard to remove all the nervousness and fear. He had opened his collar buttons, folded his sleeves and was walking fast; his heart was pumping so fast that seemed to jump out of his mouth.
A group of seniors passed him laughing and talking vociferously. He could not look into their eyes. He walked past them and was relived that they could not recognize him to be a fresher or at least he thought so; and then the inevitable happened. “MURGA HAI JEE?” They shouted from behind and then...Branchmates laughed at him for many weeks.
Time flew. Raj has second year, then third, then fourth. Much happened between exams, holidays, picnics, hostel-transfers and again exams, but he could not express his love for Kusum nor could Kusum read his eyes. His shyness was spelling doom for him. It was eating upon his health and academics. Boys laughed and teased him as an unsuccessful lover. He still looked at Kusum coming to class, smelt the fragranced air as she passed and built castles in air. Exhibitionists and buoyant spirits wooed Kusum and succeeded in winning her attention and company. It seemed to Raj that she was no longer interested in him. Sun has sunk in his in life forever.
Final year trickled down to a few months. Girls gained weight and boys started looking like men. Autograph- Books were sent from one hostel to another. Kusum had sent her autograph book to the boy’s hostel. Everybody wrote in it. Raj could not control his feelings which were pent up for three and a half year. He gathered courage and wrote –“Kusum, I love you from the very first day I saw you. I am sorry if this hearts you but I could not restrain myself at the hour of parting. Best wishes, Raj”. He wondered much about Kusum`s reaction and was afraid of the consequences. What would she think of him – a stupid, dumb boy? These thoughts made him tremble. His new found courage and boldness was lost, he tore the page in which he had written- crumbled it and threw it out of the window. He send the autograph book back together with his own one.
Raj`s autograph book returned the other the other day. Kusum had written in it-“Raj. I always looked upon you as the most decent and cutest boy of our class. You never talked to me and I thought that such a handsome boy would not be interested in me. This was further clear from the fact that you did not write in my autograph book. I am writing in yours because I want to concede to you one thing - I loved you from the very first day I saw you, but could not express it to you. Time has created a deep valley between us which can’t be bridged over. Pardon me if my feelings bother you”. “ALVIDA”!
The autograph book fell from his hand. He looked out of the window; the crumbled paper was lying there. Tears roll down his cheeks.
